5 Thanksgiving Dishes You Do Not Want To F**k Up

In most of our households, Thanksgiving Dinner is like the last supper. Not just anybody is allowed in the kitchen, and definitely not just anybody can feed the family. And if anything served doesn’t taste good, rest assured whoever made it will be banned from cooking until the next holiday season. You can get away with finessing some recipes, but there are five specific Thanksgiving dishes that you better not mess up, ever!

5. Dressing/Stuffing – One of the most unique parts of any Thanksgiving meal is that every family likes different add-ons like sausage, oysters, or vegetables. For that reason, you should never mess this recipe up because it’s probably one of the oldest in the family. Don’t let your ancestors down!

4. Greens – Don’t let anyone tell you it doesn’t matter what type of greens you make because that would be a damn lie. Whether you choose mustard, turnip, or collard greens…whether you use smoked neck bones or bacon grease, the flavor in your greens better be to an exact equal balance (with or without hot sauce), or they might end up left on the plate. 

3. Pies – Thanksgiving is the one holiday when you are GUARANTEED to have pie. This could either be your time to shine or your time to get kicked off Granny’s helper’s list. Sweet Potato Pie is the big one. They might actually take your black card for messing up sweet potato pie. And Patti’s pie does not count!

2. Mac N Cheese – The only truly acceptable mac n cheese is from the oven. However, some families traditionally make stovetop macaroni and cheese and ditch the baking part. That’s cool! But for the most part, as long as the edges are brown and crispy and the macaroni is bright in color, you’re good. Under no circumstance is Velveeta or Kraft macaroni and cheese allowed, and do not get creative and add stuff to it like some other folks. Thanksgiving Dinner is not the time for experimentation.

1. The Meat – If you burn, undercook, under season, over season, or harm the bird in any way, you’re banned from holiday meals for the rest of your life. Period. And if the elder man of the family can’t slice meat straight, it may be time to pass the knife down.

What dishes did I miss? What do you not play about when it comes to Thanksgiving Dinner?