Jason Kelce calls Dallas ‘butthole and armpit’ of America

Jason Kelce may be shouting “D’oh!” after attempting to make a joke on ESPN.

The former Eagles center found himself trying to walk back an attempt at humor during “Monday Night Countdown” when he jokingly called Arlington and Dallas, Texas the “butthole and armpit of America.” 

Kelce was trying to play off a joke that Mina Kimes had made moments before as the “Monday Night Countdown” crew interacted with the animated versions of Kimes, Dan Orlovsky and Drew Carter, who were calling the special “Simpsons” themed alt-cast of the Monday night game. 


Jason Kelce made a joke that stunned the “Monday Night Countdown” crew before the Cowboys faced the Kevin Jairaj-Imagn Images

The alt-cast version of the Bengals-Cowboys clash was being played “live” from Springfield, the fictional town the “Simpsons” characters live in. 

During the interaction between the two broadcasts, Kimes called Springfield “The Armpit of America’s Butt-Crack,” which is a direct reference to the show and one of the nicknames for the city. 

As Scott Van Pelt brought “Monday Night Countdown” back to AT&T stadium, he identified they were back “in the state of Texas, Arlington, Dallas …” 

That’s when Kelce jumped in: “Also the butthole and armpit of America.”

The panel quickly reacted with shock at Kelce’s comments as the former Eagle clarified that he was “just joking.” 

“Guys, it was just a joke because of what Mina said,” Kelce tried to explain.

However, Van Pelt questioned whether the ex-NFC East rival to the Cowboys was really joking. 


The Dallas Cowboys played the Cincinnati Bengals at AT&T Stadium on Monday.
The Dallas Cowboys played the Cincinnati Bengals at AT&T Stadium on Dec. 9. USA TODAY Sports via Reuters Con

“We’re having fun here,” Kelce protested. “I love Dallas. We got the cowboy hats.”

Kelce is in his first season as a member of the “Monday Night Countdown” crew after retiring from the NFL in March after 13 years with the Eagles. 

He has skyrocketed to fame through the highly successful podcast “New Heights” that he co-hosts with his brother Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, who is also dating music superstar Taylor Swift. 

The attempted joke wasn’t the only shenanigans that Kelce got up to during the broadcast, he also took a bite of a pink “Simpsons” themed donut and signed it for a fan.

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